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| We are after the first corn harvest |
We are after the first corn harvest. It grew wonderfully, but the most important thing is that the cobs are large. We have already forgotten about the problems such as cattle on the field, earthing up and fertilizing. Everyone was amazed that Bibi who is not a farmer had such great crops. But this is because I told not to apply too much of the cow manure in order not to burn the plants. And this is what teachers from the primary school usually do. Children bring them manure and teachers throw it all on the fields - they think the more, the better.
Initially, corn was picked up by Pendo and William together with children: Ogalo, Erik, Ojwang and Rosa. Then we had to peel corn husks and then dry grains for three days, spreading them on a plastic sheet every time. We divided the crops in three portions - ours will be distributed to the poor. Pendo and William took their corn home. They were so incredibly happy. Children were very eager to help, especially that they would always get something to eat, some sweets and Coca-Cola (a delicacy here). They do not get any reward from teachers.
William and Pendo took three big corn cobs to the church as an offering (vipaji). People could not believe the cobs were so large, beautiful and healthy (I told them to choose the best ones).
From the economic point of view, the cultivation could be called profitable, but more importantly:
- People saw that you can grow on a field that used to be fallow land,
- Pendo and William worked together with children because they knew they would get a part of the crops; such involvement is better than giving money,
- And they learned a kind of solidarity and responsibility for the crops.
We have just plowed the field and planted corn again.
Let's hope we will make it this time either.
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| Helena |
Helena used to work in the CTC as a clearing lady and on visiting days she cooked 'uji' for patients. She is HIV positive, her husband died a few years ago and now she is seriously ill. Valentine (her neighbor who also works at the hospital) and I went to visit Helena. I brought her honey, some sweets and money. Helena cannot walk - her legs are awfully swollen and she has a big growth on her hip. She was sitting on a mat and kept repeating that I came to see her as if she could not believe that. I asked what she needed and she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said: 'Bibi, take me to Tarime, to the hospital'.
After that visit I talked to sister Rita. Here in Kowak they cannot help Helena. She has to be examined in Tarime in order to find out whether this is cancer or tuberculosis. If this is TB, she can undergo treatment. But is this is cancer... well, they do not this disease here.
Next Wednesday, Helena will go to Tarime. I promised she would go so she will go.
Rosa showed up in CTC the other day. It was not an admission day (patients with HIV and AIDS come to the center twice a week), but I did not dismiss her as she had come all the way from Utega (5 kilometers). This is our new patient. Her CD was 4, which means she should be dead with such low immunity. I wanted her to stay in the hospital. But it means I have to pay for that. All right. The girl has no parents, she lives with some chap who does not even care what is happening with her. Today, after having a drip, eating the food I gave her and taking some rest, she looked completely different.
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| It seems that Christmas was so not long time ago... |
It seems that Christmas was so not long time ago and Lent has already started.
A few days ago, an awful tragedy took place near Musoma. 17 people, mostly children, were murdered by three masked bandits. They say it was a revenge for something that happened 5 years ago. For how long can people harbor hatred?
We make various sacrifices during Lent. Maybe it would be worth putting aside anger and sorrow that we feel because of others? In the beginning, you can 'train' for a few weeks of Lent and then it should be much easier. A man who keeps pondering on his hatred towards others, is very unhappy and bitter and, thus, hurts himself. Forgiving somebody who has hurt you is surely difficult, but this is a measure of our genuine understanding and acceptance of God's Love. Only after forgiving our wrongdoers and receiving forgiveness from Rother people and God can we achieve peace.
And yet, this is what we ask for in the paternoster. Maybe a good resolution for this Lent is to give ourselves a few minutes before going to sleep and forgive others all injustice just as we would like others to forgive us.
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| On Sunday, after the Holy Mass, Helena came to us... |
On Sunday, after the Holy Mass, Helena came to us. She is a teacher in the other elementary school which is situated 3 km away from Kowak. Helena is a widow, her husband died 10 years ago. She belong to a group that actively works in the church. A few months ago, she asked for prayers for her health. She was diagnosed with cancer so she decided to go to the hospital in Dar. She has just arrived and decided to visit me.
We were talking about everything that happened while she way away. Finally she said: 'I need to tell you something'. I got a little scared because she has a very serious face. After a longer while, Helena sighed and quickly said: 'I am HIV positive. I had to tell you that because I want you to know'. I was very surprised to hear that because people are often ashamed of being 'ukimwi'. I told her that she should immediately go to CTC to have a CD4 blood test done. She started laughing and said: 'I have had the test done in Dar, everything is all right, I have over 1,000 lymphocytes, isn't that a miracle?! I was infected by my husband years ago and I do not have to take medicines. This is what I wanted to tell you - that a miracle happened'.
I hugged her and told her that I was glad, but still she should have a blood test done every six months. Helena grew more serious and said: 'Of course, you are right, but these 10 years is a miracle anyway.' I said: 'Yes, it is a miracle, indeed.'
After a few talks with me, Judith agreed to persuade her husband to begin treatment in CTC. The problem is that he is incapable of reaching the hospital neither on his feet nor on a bike. One Saturday, Padri Valence, sister Mary John and I went to visit Judith's husband. The man in his forties was sitting in front of his hut. His legs, covered with open festering wounds were unnaturally swollen. It turned out that Charles stopped ART treatment in April. Even though his condition was deteriorating, they had no money to go to Mwanza and they started to use folk medicines. Judith promised to come and take medicines for him, but she did not show up. I thought it was because I put too much pressure on her telling she should have a test done too. But she also did not show up at the next two choir rehearsals. Finally, she came to CTC. And she immediately said she only wanted to get medicines for her husband. I saw she was very scared, but I did not let go; 'since you are here, do the test, please', I asked. She looked at me, beginning with her eyes to leave her alone, but I pretended that I did not see or understand anything. I went with her for a test order and then to the lab. Then, we were waiting for the result and I was saying something senseless just to drown the silence out. Finally, sister Jincy gave us the result. Judith is healthy. When she realized that, she started laughing and shaking my hand. A few days later she said: 'Bibi, it is so good I had the blood test done. Now, I can be calm. Charles knows we cannot have sex, but he loves me and he does not want me to get infected.' And I though it is a shame he has not realized that until now.
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| Deus caritas est |
Father Marek Gizicki has arrived. We regaled him with Polish cuisine. He loved the painting of God's Mercy in a carved frame. He promised to return at the end of the week; first, he wanted to discuss everything with the current parish priest of Tatwe (Kwisarara belongs to this parish). In fact, he returned a few days later and said: 'I'm taking the picture to the Maasai'. After a short while of silence, he explained that people are not ready to accept forgiveness and Mercy, that there is still anger in their hearts, that one young Tanzanian priest has a similar problem as he keeps reminding his parishioners that they had murdered his family. He said that these wounds cannot be healed now and that the current peacefulness is only superficial. That is why he decided to take the picture, a copy of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, rosaries and holy pictures sent by our friends from Poland, to his new community, the Maasai.
Today is the first Sunday of the Advent. The motto of this Liturgical Year is 'Deus caritas est' and the period before Christmas is the time of awaiting for the meeting with Love. The Savior comes to the Earth, to His people and they...
Kwisarara is everywhere, not only in Tanzania. It is in every place where people do not want to unite with their brothers, where anger and rage remain in hearts, where no love is found.
These things cannot be covered with beautiful and expensive decorations, presents and gadgets. They cannot be deafened with fireworks or even the most beautiful Christmas carols. This void will not be filled with joyful plays and Christmas gatherings.
Because real Love comes to this world poor, in silence and joy that He is.
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| How I have become a landowner. |
We have already mentioned that we do not like to donate money; even in very difficult cases we prefer to give jobs. It is more difficult to invent and supervise various tasks than give cash. Sometimes, occasional financial aid is essential, but as much as we can, we try to activate people.
For instance, first Christian and then Silver needed work so they have been taking care of the area around our house, along the way to the church and the hospital, for a few months so now it looks as if it was mowed with a professional mower. But we needed a new direction of works.
Behind our fence there was a land full of huge bushes and weeds; it belongs to the parish, but who would care about a few acres since at least 90% of grounds in Tanzania are wasteland.
This area gave me sleepless nights since I saw primary school students molesting younger children there, adults had their place for fast sex there, football players treated it as a toilet and children as a place for risky games.
That is why this place was a great pretext to do some work. First, I ordered to cut out the bushes and then, the field was plowed. It took two weeks to remove all of the roots and clean the area. I wanted to plant some trees there, but under the pressure from neighbors, corn is grown there eventually. Now, the crops must be earthed up and weeded since rain and sun make the nature lush and abundant. Unfortunately, weeds usually dominate.
Pendo has run out of her provisions from the last harvest and the next one will not take place sooner than in a few months. So, she will have a job earthing up corn for the next week. I can hear many friendly voices saying: 'Bibi, thieves will steal corn before it even ripens'. But I am thinking: maybe these will not be thieves, but hungry people. So this is how I became a corn grower with a 5-acre field and awareness that we will not have impressive harvest.
Father Jim laughs quietly, saying: 'Barbara, your are insane'.
And I respond: 'Padri, I take example from you'.
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| Birds |
In the last week before his departure to the USA, Tom gave me a book by Marianne Williamson entitled 'Everyday Grace'.
I read it occasionally in small sections because it is so full of beautiful thoughts and guidelines. It all seems so familiar as if I had been through all that myself.
But I did not want to write about the book, but about every day brining us a miracle, a big or a small one, about every day being grace doe us. Every day, something beautiful happens and sometimes these are very ephemeral moments.
These are wonderful and diverse sunrises and sunsets, bird that fly in when they are needed most as their presence and trilling turns our attention away from everyday matters. These are flowers which bloom even though, given the climate and the time of the year, they had no right to bloom. These are rainbows that appear like a symbol of the Covenant, reminding us that He is with us and people whom He sends to us. This is all as if our God wanted to tell us: 'I am with you'.
Today, on December 13, on the anniversary of the martial law announcement in Poland, a beautiful red rose bloomed.
In the afternoon, I was playing ball with the kids. Suddenly, Teddy shouted: 'Bibi, look at the birds!'. We all looked up. A huge flock of a few hundred big birds, similar to wild geese, was performing a weird dance. Around them, some big predatory bird was floating, approaching them from time to time. Some of the birds acted like a shoal of fish - first they were flying towards the big bird and then they turned away, proving it to chase them. Simultaneously, the other part of the flock which consisted of smaller birds, was flying away at a safe distance. It seemed that the bigger and stronger birds were protecting the smaller ones from danger.
In the evening, there was a wonderful sunset - we saw all the possible colors of heaven, mainly orange red.
This rose is for everybody who sacrificed their lives, health, careers and happiness for the country's freedom. For those who still live and for those who have passed away: God have mercy on them.
These birds remind us that the stronger and healthier ones should protect the weak.
And that purplish red sunset is the moment when we thank for everything, for every day, for all gifts and miracles we witness.
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| Views |
Another trip to Nairobi. 500 kilometers - it is tiring. Arduous border crossing and crowded African metropolis. I do not like these trips much, but they are essential.
An important part of these days are meetings with people who work in various parts of East Africa. They reports assure me that what Basia and I are doing actually makes sense. Most of them have been in Africa longer than we, but they still welcome us, our work and involvement very warmly. I would not date talking about friendships, but we surely constitute a group whose thoughts and actions are alike. This is important.
There is one thing about our trips to Nairobi that is absolutely extraordinary for me. The first part of the journey is green Kenya with two separate sections - the region of sugar cane cultivation and the other one - of tea cultivation. This area is situated higher than Kowak, thus it is more humid and the greenery resembles that of southern Europe. It is beautiful. Then, the landscape gets drier and drier with every kilometer. It is yellow-beige, dusty and windy. This is a part of the Maasai plateau which stretches to central Tanzania. This place is also charming in a way.
In Sotik, one of the world's most spectacular view appears. I reach the Great Escarpment (which has various names at various sections; I enter the Soit Ololol Escarpment) and the view to the Rift Valley and the opposite Mau Escarpment opens in front of me. The valley is about 60-kilometers wide. I can observe it from the east and from the west at different times of the day. This is a breathtaking view - the escarpment is about 1,000-meter high here in relation to the bottom of the valley. And you can see it all - as long as it is and as wide as it is. There is no such landscape in Europe, such a huge space that can be observed as a whole, which is possible here, thanks to the clean African air. And all the things you can see down there are so small - tiny whirlwinds, tiny herds of animals, tiny villages. Everything is tiny compared to mighty and beautiful nature. A base of gigantic radio-telescopes (they seem so when you are close) in the valley, looks like a herd of lambs. It is a pity no picture can reflect the beauty of this place. There are vantage points and even telescopes, but this is nothing compared to what your eyes can see. This beauty is emphasized by the sunlight, especially in the morning and the evening. The chiaroscuro play creates fabulous pictures and you would have to stick to one place all day in order to read all the signals of nature.
I mentioned that we have had a chance to observe migrations in the Serengeti Park. This is one of the wonders of this world. Rift Valley is also a wonder - as wonder of inanimate nature. Thank God we can observe things like that.
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| He was looking for people ready to follow Him... |
'...He was looking for people ready to follow Him...'
Thanksgiving Day is surely a very important day for the Americans. This year, on the last Thursday of the liturgical year we were invited to the ceremony of admission of sister Celeste Derr to Maryknoll Congregation.
The ceremony was very small, actually there were only fathers, sisters and secular missionaries from this Congregation. Bishop Michael Msonganzila was also present there. We considered this invitation an honor.
The Holy Mass was held in Epheta (this is a Franciscan retreat Home in Makoko). Everybody were seated behind a table that was an altar at the same time. The atmosphere there resembled Masses celebrated within Catholic youth movements. I brought a candle I had decorated especially for that day. This is a tradition now that I decorate candles for various ceremonies.
It was a simple and beautiful Mass with thanksgiving paid because of the day on which it was held.
I was most touched when everybody started singing the favorite song of Pope John Paul II in its original Spanish version 'Pescador De Hombres' (the Polish title is 'Barka') to the accompaniment of a guitar.
Then we had lunch and many friendly and cordial talks. This is such a wonderful feeling to have so many friends around you. It is very important here; there are moments when we would like to tell all our Maryknoll friends: 'It's good to have you here'.
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| The longer we are here... |
The longer we are here, the more we are convinced that the aid offered by the Word to Africa is bad.
We can hear about millions of dollars that flow to Tanzania only every year. But the truth is that this money never reaches the poor who really need it. Governments of African countries are awfully corrupted and it concerns clerks of every level. Thus, clerks' salaries keep rising, while an average man remains in blissful ignorance since the poor cannot afford to buy newspapers and only 10% of them have electricity.
On the other hand, rich countries which donate to Africa have the feeling that they fulfill some Christian - or at least humanitarian - duty. I cannot imagine anybody trying to account for these subsidies. Anyway, squaring is a completely different issue.
A last-minute curiosity is that the Dutch, under the auspices of the European Union, initiate a campaign promoting abortion in Tanzania. Last year, there was a condom distribution action which cost USD 60 million - this is enough for every inhabitant of Tanzania, including children, to buy a hen.
Only small programs entrusted to trustworthy individuals or groups outside Tanzania have raison d'être here. Naturally, every project must be diligently squared since even in such cases black sheep appear from time to time.
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| Diseases come in flocks... |
Diseases come in flocks - just like animals in the Serengeti Park.
I was attacked by such a flock - two malarias, one after another, problems with my spine (one bad twist and something 'broke down'), then I was fighting with my kidney for three weeks and finally, I fell with an infection similar to flu. Now, the 'flock' went to a different pasture and I am recovering. Thank God I was able to work for all that time, I just had to slow down a little.
But how meager is that compared to diseases and suffering other people experience.
A few weeks ago, a young, 32-year-old man was brought to CTC on a bike. It was obvious that he was seriously ill at the first glance. They brought him in and sat him down on a chair. I opened a new file for him, filled out all the documents and when I wanted to weigh him, it turned out that his companion had disappeared. None of the patients wanted to help and I was having an awful pain in the back, but I still lifted him and helped him get on the scales. He weighed 17 kg!!! Then I took him in my arms and carried him to the nurse, thinking I was carrying not an AIDS sufferer, but Jesus. Since then, my backbone pain has gone as if I had never had this problem.
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