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| Birds |
In the last week before his departure to the USA, Tom gave me a book by Marianne Williamson entitled 'Everyday Grace'.
I read it occasionally in small sections because it is so full of beautiful thoughts and guidelines. It all seems so familiar as if I had been through all that myself.
But I did not want to write about the book, but about every day brining us a miracle, a big or a small one, about every day being grace doe us. Every day, something beautiful happens and sometimes these are very ephemeral moments.
These are wonderful and diverse sunrises and sunsets, bird that fly in when they are needed most as their presence and trilling turns our attention away from everyday matters. These are flowers which bloom even though, given the climate and the time of the year, they had no right to bloom. These are rainbows that appear like a symbol of the Covenant, reminding us that He is with us and people whom He sends to us. This is all as if our God wanted to tell us: 'I am with you'.
Today, on December 13, on the anniversary of the martial law announcement in Poland, a beautiful red rose bloomed.
In the afternoon, I was playing ball with the kids. Suddenly, Teddy shouted: 'Bibi, look at the birds!'. We all looked up. A huge flock of a few hundred big birds, similar to wild geese, was performing a weird dance. Around them, some big predatory bird was floating, approaching them from time to time. Some of the birds acted like a shoal of fish - first they were flying towards the big bird and then they turned away, proving it to chase them. Simultaneously, the other part of the flock which consisted of smaller birds, was flying away at a safe distance. It seemed that the bigger and stronger birds were protecting the smaller ones from danger.
In the evening, there was a wonderful sunset - we saw all the possible colors of heaven, mainly orange red.
This rose is for everybody who sacrificed their lives, health, careers and happiness for the country's freedom. For those who still live and for those who have passed away: God have mercy on them.
These birds remind us that the stronger and healthier ones should protect the weak.
And that purplish red sunset is the moment when we thank for everything, for every day, for all gifts and miracles we witness.
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| Views |
Another trip to Nairobi. 500 kilometers - it is tiring. Arduous border crossing and crowded African metropolis. I do not like these trips much, but they are essential.
An important part of these days are meetings with people who work in various parts of East Africa. They reports assure me that what Basia and I are doing actually makes sense. Most of them have been in Africa longer than we, but they still welcome us, our work and involvement very warmly. I would not date talking about friendships, but we surely constitute a group whose thoughts and actions are alike. This is important.
There is one thing about our trips to Nairobi that is absolutely extraordinary for me. The first part of the journey is green Kenya with two separate sections - the region of sugar cane cultivation and the other one - of tea cultivation. This area is situated higher than Kowak, thus it is more humid and the greenery resembles that of southern Europe. It is beautiful. Then, the landscape gets drier and drier with every kilometer. It is yellow-beige, dusty and windy. This is a part of the Maasai plateau which stretches to central Tanzania. This place is also charming in a way.
In Sotik, one of the world's most spectacular view appears. I reach the Great Escarpment (which has various names at various sections; I enter the Soit Ololol Escarpment) and the view to the Rift Valley and the opposite Mau Escarpment opens in front of me. The valley is about 60-kilometers wide. I can observe it from the east and from the west at different times of the day. This is a breathtaking view - the escarpment is about 1,000-meter high here in relation to the bottom of the valley. And you can see it all - as long as it is and as wide as it is. There is no such landscape in Europe, such a huge space that can be observed as a whole, which is possible here, thanks to the clean African air. And all the things you can see down there are so small - tiny whirlwinds, tiny herds of animals, tiny villages. Everything is tiny compared to mighty and beautiful nature. A base of gigantic radio-telescopes (they seem so when you are close) in the valley, looks like a herd of lambs. It is a pity no picture can reflect the beauty of this place. There are vantage points and even telescopes, but this is nothing compared to what your eyes can see. This beauty is emphasized by the sunlight, especially in the morning and the evening. The chiaroscuro play creates fabulous pictures and you would have to stick to one place all day in order to read all the signals of nature.
I mentioned that we have had a chance to observe migrations in the Serengeti Park. This is one of the wonders of this world. Rift Valley is also a wonder - as wonder of inanimate nature. Thank God we can observe things like that.
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| He was looking for people ready to follow Him... |
'...He was looking for people ready to follow Him...'
Thanksgiving Day is surely a very important day for the Americans. This year, on the last Thursday of the liturgical year we were invited to the ceremony of admission of sister Celeste Derr to Maryknoll Congregation.
The ceremony was very small, actually there were only fathers, sisters and secular missionaries from this Congregation. Bishop Michael Msonganzila was also present there. We considered this invitation an honor.
The Holy Mass was held in Epheta (this is a Franciscan retreat Home in Makoko). Everybody were seated behind a table that was an altar at the same time. The atmosphere there resembled Masses celebrated within Catholic youth movements. I brought a candle I had decorated especially for that day. This is a tradition now that I decorate candles for various ceremonies.
It was a simple and beautiful Mass with thanksgiving paid because of the day on which it was held.
I was most touched when everybody started singing the favorite song of Pope John Paul II in its original Spanish version 'Pescador De Hombres' (the Polish title is 'Barka') to the accompaniment of a guitar.
Then we had lunch and many friendly and cordial talks. This is such a wonderful feeling to have so many friends around you. It is very important here; there are moments when we would like to tell all our Maryknoll friends: 'It's good to have you here'.
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| The longer we are here... |
The longer we are here, the more we are convinced that the aid offered by the Word to Africa is bad.
We can hear about millions of dollars that flow to Tanzania only every year. But the truth is that this money never reaches the poor who really need it. Governments of African countries are awfully corrupted and it concerns clerks of every level. Thus, clerks' salaries keep rising, while an average man remains in blissful ignorance since the poor cannot afford to buy newspapers and only 10% of them have electricity.
On the other hand, rich countries which donate to Africa have the feeling that they fulfill some Christian - or at least humanitarian - duty. I cannot imagine anybody trying to account for these subsidies. Anyway, squaring is a completely different issue.
A last-minute curiosity is that the Dutch, under the auspices of the European Union, initiate a campaign promoting abortion in Tanzania. Last year, there was a condom distribution action which cost USD 60 million - this is enough for every inhabitant of Tanzania, including children, to buy a hen.
Only small programs entrusted to trustworthy individuals or groups outside Tanzania have raison d'être here. Naturally, every project must be diligently squared since even in such cases black sheep appear from time to time.
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| Diseases come in flocks... |
Diseases come in flocks - just like animals in the Serengeti Park.
I was attacked by such a flock - two malarias, one after another, problems with my spine (one bad twist and something 'broke down'), then I was fighting with my kidney for three weeks and finally, I fell with an infection similar to flu. Now, the 'flock' went to a different pasture and I am recovering. Thank God I was able to work for all that time, I just had to slow down a little.
But how meager is that compared to diseases and suffering other people experience.
A few weeks ago, a young, 32-year-old man was brought to CTC on a bike. It was obvious that he was seriously ill at the first glance. They brought him in and sat him down on a chair. I opened a new file for him, filled out all the documents and when I wanted to weigh him, it turned out that his companion had disappeared. None of the patients wanted to help and I was having an awful pain in the back, but I still lifted him and helped him get on the scales. He weighed 17 kg!!! Then I took him in my arms and carried him to the nurse, thinking I was carrying not an AIDS sufferer, but Jesus. Since then, my backbone pain has gone as if I had never had this problem.
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| Chocolate |
One of the products that are hardy available in Musoma is chocolate. Even though some chocolate-like products appeared, their flavor is far from that of real chocolate. Sometimes, it is possible to buy chocolate in Mwanza, but its price is very high.
Alex has been to Nairobi twice in recent months and he bought... Polish chocolate produced by Terravita. It was absolutely delicious. If the company only wants to, I can give them free advertisement for these sweet moments.
I never particularly fancied sweets, but here, I sometimes miss some candy. When we had the martial law in Poland (1981-1983) and there were ration coupons for chocolate, I used to make something that reminded chocolate for my children. I decided to try this here. I could not remember the recipe exactly, but after a few attempts, I achieved a small success.
Ashley and Mary (nurses from the USA) said it was delicious. And everyone else ate it with relish, but still, I can’t compare myself to Terravita!
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| We are coming to the end of the liturgical year... |
We are coming to the end of the liturgical year so there is an occasion to reflect on the past events.
November is the month that reminds us of passing and earthly wandering. We think we win and gather things, but we have to pass away leaving everything that is vanity. Vanity of vanities.
Life - both in physical and spiritual sense - is the highest value, regardless of whether we are rich or poor. This year was marked with the solemn words: 'Care for life'.
Last year, at night on the first Sunday of the Advent, Anusha was born. I informed about it on our website. For me, she is a symbol telling that you can and you should care for and sometimes even fight for life.
The, during the time of Christ Birth, I kept thinking that I still do too little for health and life of these people. And I wished I was a nurse or a doctor. A few days later, Liz and sister Mary offered me work in a new hospital unit - CTC (Care and Treatment Center). I was afraid that I would not handle all the new things and now... I am instructing young sister Caroline and a Tanzanian, Marie.
The problem of AIDS is huge. And the government does so little. I wrote about millions of dollars that were allocated to promotion and distribution of condoms last year. But the money vanished somewhere on the way through a number of clerks. Eventually, only some hospitals in bigger cities received condoms which were distributed by doctors among their friends. And I am glad not everybody received them.
I object to promoting condoms (I know I am winning new enemies at this point). There are many reasons for my opposition, but the most important one is that condoms do not aim at changing the sex life culture, but instead they simply let people think they have sufficient protection and safe sex. It seems that someone is trying to convince them that can do whatever they want as if HIV did not exist.
As far as I can recall, in 1993 the WHO published a report related to that issue. It stated 50%-effectiveness of condoms. Would any of you tell your child: 'use a condom, it gives you one chance in two'? If not, why would you say such lies to these poor, uneducated and ill people?! They have plenty of problems and... complexes. They trust the white people because they believe everything that comes from Europe or USA is the best. And I am ashamed of those donators and of the European Union.
During his visit to Cameron, Benedict XVI said that condoms would not solve the AIDS problem. And this is so true. The Catholic Church has a clear position in that matter, although it seems difficult.
Or maybe somebody wants Africa to become depopulated since people keep dying here in large numbers.
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| A few months ago... |
A few months ago, when, after a number of talks, William decided to come to CTC he looked the very picture of misery. He slowly overcame his indifference to everything. I hear that he once conducted a choir so I thought it could be a good way to activate him. I suggested that he found a few kids and set up a small choir, but he looked at me surprised saying that children only dance and all they could do was listen to the adults' rehearsals. But I did not give up. I told him to found adults who would like to sing. William was afraid that they would not agree for most of them already sing in other choirs. 'Then tell them that Bibi will sing in your choir', it sounded as if I promised them 'zawadi' this way. And this is how a new choir was set up.
I participate in the rehearsals. Children receive candies from time to time and adults, primarily the poor ones, get occasion aid - clothes and soap.
The more time I spend with them, the more I admire and respect these people.
The rehearsals take place twice a week, on Saturdays and Sundays between 3 pm and 6 pm. On Saturdays, there is a break for rosary and on Sundays – for a one-hour adoration of the Holy Sacrament during which Litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus is sang according to the Polish melody. Not everyone comes to the rehearsals, but they all know these songs and the choir meetings serve only as reminding.
Every rehearsal begins and end with a short prayer.
Before every Mass, they carefully choose lyrics appropriate for readings for a given day. There are no random choices. They readily agree to read or sing psalms. Suring rehearsals they sit on awfully uncomfortable benches and sometimes they get up and dance. The choir enters the church dancing and keeps dancing during the Mass. This is what was my biggest problem in the beginning - synchronization of the new words, new melody and new steps.
A few weeks ago they introduced the 'Alleluia' I had taught them into their repertoire. They also sing other songs I teach them. I only have to teach two voices and they add the rest on their own. They have problems with Latin even though there are only a few words in that language - everything else is in Kiswahili.
But the most important thing is that William is leading the Kowak community again. And he is very involved in the parish matters. Sometimes I tell him to slow down and let others work too, but he only laughs and says that God will help him. So I'm praying for God's blessing for him. And I hope he will work for people’s benefit and for God’s glory as long as possible.
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| In the beginning of August, Ashley came to Kowak |
In the beginning of August, Ashley came to Kowak. She graduated from nursing school in the United States and came to poor Tanzania for a three-month traineeship. She is only 22 years old, but her knowledge and devotion to work are greater than in the case of the Tanzanian doctor and other nurses who work at the hospital. This is why she has to struggle with jealousy and irony, but she is very strong. She is aware that she came here to help the sick and that is what matters most. She is shocked by the high mortality, especially among children. We really need a pediatrician here. I beg you, let yourselves be carried away by a daredevil streak and come to Tanzania, at least for a few weeks, to help others. It will also help you for staying here, even for a short period of time, changes lives. I spend afternoons together with Ashley because she also helps in teaching children English.
At first, we wanted to teach our older children English, but after the first meeting it turned out that kids from 4th, 5th and even 7th grade cannot read or write!!! Only Ojwang and Nyerere whom I have been teaching for eighteen months can read and write. And they are in the 2nd grade! That is why Ashley started to teach them and I got down to teaching the rudiments, that is the first letters.
Initially, I wrote everything with a chalk on a wall or a concrete floor, but Alex bought a small chalkboard so it's more convenient now. Children learn with various speed so I sometimes have to spend additional hours with the slowest students. I also have a group of 6-year-olds who will go to school in January, but they already want to learn. We have more fun than actual studying, but, after all, they are still little children. Our Dorin is also in that group; even though she is already 11, she has never been at school because of her disease.
Every day new kids from the village, or their parents, ask us whether they could join our little school. But this is impossible since my work often consists in working with each child individually. I ask them to do exercises at home because they also learn math and then you have to check that and sometimes explain everything from the beginning. First, we were planning to teach five days a week, but now we do that also on Saturday mornings.
Alex is fixing mistakes made by Richard and he is preparing the school budget for the new year, not to mention all current affairs and trips to Musoma.
Thank God for our strength and health.
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| The golden jubilee |
Sister Marion celebrated 50th anniversary of taking monastic vows this year.
A few months ago she went to the United States to celebrate this anniversary in her Congregation and with her family and friends. Here, in Musoma, we celebrated on July 13. I promised Liz to help her with organization. A week before that date I fell ill with malaria, then I had awful pain in the back, but still God let me function almost normally. I went to Mwisenge a day earlier. First we did the shopping, then we took some quick decisions and decorated the Franciscan chapel in Epheta and the room where lunch was to be served. Probably nobody here has seen such a speedy work before. Liz and I did everything alone, but it's good - if often happens that there are as many concepts as helpers. All in all, the decorations were simple, cheap, elegant and, most importantly, lilac - this is Marion-s favourite color.
We invited only the closest friends, including bishop Michael, a few priests, nuns and little AIDS sufferers whom sister Marion has been taking care of for years.
There was very family atmosphere, the service was warm and filled with joyful thanksgiving, the meal was moderate but delicious. And we had children dancing and singing.
Our dear Marion, we wish you health, luck and God's blessing.
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| During these terrifying events I started painting... |
During these terrifying events I started painting - after a few-month break - the picture of Merciful Christ. I felt I had to paint this particular image. It was not only about painting, but primarily about praying.
Last week, father Marek Gizicki visited us. He currently works near Arusha, also with the Maasai. He came to Musoma to participate in the funeral of a local priest and then in holy orders ceremony (unfortunately, we couldn't be there), but his most important mission was to visit his old parish and its branch.
Father Marek used to work in Tatwe - this is where the bloody riots have taken place recently. He talked to members of both tribes at variance - they are all filled with anger, sorrow and desire of revenge.
When he entered the room, the first thing he said was: 'Who are you painting this for?'. I said: 'I don’t know', especially that the painting was not finished. I said I felt deep in my soul that I had to paint Merciful Christ. Father Marek was very excited because after talking to people from the village in which over 120 of his parishioners were killed (mostly women and children), he also thought about God's mercy. He quickly decided that he would come back in November and in the meantime we would frame the picture, hang it in outstation, organize copies of Chaplet of Divine Mercy and have a solemn Mass and blessing. And may the mercy emanate for where grave sin is, there is also grace.
We would be grateful if anybody could send us pictures of Merciful Christ in an envelope.
We will buy plastic rosaries in Musoma - they are quite cheap.
Jesus, in thee I trust - Yesu nakutumainia
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